Valentine's Day - take II

Thursday, February 15, 2007
mood: frustrated

Me hearties!

Comment ca va? Restaurant Owners, Shopkeepers and Flower Sellers all over the world are counting their cash today.
You wanna know about my V-day? Apart from having the little rant earlier to all loved up couples, because I'm flaming envious as hell...!

The night before, ExBoy prepared to go out probably with the Slapper, all dressed up in his new All Saints gear complete with gothic cross around his neck... Aaaaaaaargh! I tell you now it is the equivalent of a man in his late fifties treasuring a ponytail: very few can pull it off, if any!
Now listen to this: he left here around 7pm. I was then in my room on the bed, faffing around with my new laptop. Hah, forgot to tell you that one as well! That was my present from Exie for my birthday. Bloody amazing what a guilty conscience can provoke. Bring it on, Dahling! Mind you, he did buy me a Ducati (baby) Monster once, many moons ago when I was still considered shagable! But I seriously digress.
I could hear his van leaving only to return 15 minutes later. Anyway, I heared his car door slam.
"Oh effing great, he's back!"
Footsteps to the front door and a half hearted attempt at ringing the bell.
"Bloody great, probably forgot his keys!"
Now, I was in no hurry to go and open the door and by the time I did I heared the van leaving already. Guess what? A small bouquet of 5 yellow roses (from the garage forecourt) and a card are left in the entrance... I open the card which shows a sailor and his girl engaged in extreme snogging, card says "X?"
Lovely touch, eh?
Don't leave your ex-lover out on Valentine's Day just before you go and party with the brand new one! Can any of the male readers explain this to me? Because I don't get it; it just sends me in orbits of screaming murderous anger !!!! Wait! It gets even better...

Now, I had a plan for Valentine's Night itself the next day; no way was I going to stay at home with ExBoy around, no siree bob! Joe Public's announced a Valentine's Night for singles ages ago so I was hitting the tiles that night, dressed to kill. Anyway, showered and shaved, put my most recent little black dress (LBD) on which is very decent but also ever so slightly kinky and a UK size 8 (I know, dahlings...), very nice black tights (with an oversized fishnet pattern, you get the picture) and black satin high heeled pumps with ankle strap. By then my food was ready, so I sat - very civilized- at the dinning table with a nice glass of wine, to eat.
ExBoy comes home.
Remember readers, atmosphere = rather frosty.
"Hello, how are you? You look very nice? Nice tights."
Not much response, I was eating after all. He disappeared in his room only to return with a present (looked like a book) and very jolly said "Happy Valentines'" whilst he handed it to me.
I very nearly choked on my food!
I could NOT believe he just said what he did and just sat there, shaking. And then I felt the tears coming pricking.
"you contemptuous bastard!" I managed and got up, put my plate in the kitchen and disappeared in my room where I could have a good cry in private.
His penny then dropped how lovely and sensitive his gesture was. Talk about putting the knife in and twisting it a bit!

There I was, dabbing my weepy face with a cold wet flanel. High time to put the make up on! And full on it was too. Not bad at all but I really felt like taking everything off and go to bed. But no way, I wasn't going to give in. I put my little vintage Gaultier jeans jacket on which looks like a corset type thingy, my furry red scarf, grey coat and red leather gloves. Handbag, mobile, keys... yes, ready to go. He did come out to apologize and comment on how good I looked.
"Good" I thought "you can think I have a hot date!" and left, cursing him under my breath.

I took a taxi to JP's as these shoes are no walking shoes. Christ, I have higher ones that are far more comfortable than these but they work the look, you know?
Taxi dropped me off. And here the embarrasment really started. Oh, I am not going to go into extensive detail, it's too excruciating.
I shared a bit of a joke with the door men before descending and realized upon entering that the place was empty apart from the staff. Right, someone has to be the first one, I kept telling myself before ordering half a Staro and quickly disappearing into the corner of one of the boot type seating arrangements. Beer went far too quick.
"I know, I'll go and get 2 beers this time; pretend to be with a friend who is about to arrive."
Which I did. And bantered to the staff there were more of them than guests...haha. How we laughed.
Back to my little corner, two beers on the table. Hey, I had this sussed. At least it would save me another excruciating walk up to the bar when my beer was finished again.
Next, I'm watching the bleedin' football on the entertainment system! Now, I have to be bored out of my skull to do that.

Things were not looking good. Oh my God, and I had to stay there because I was wearing the wrong shoes for a wander.
And going back home was not an option; he could think I got stood up.

People started to arrive in little groups. Now I really feel self conscious...
Mobile phone! Saviour of many an embarrassing moment.
Pretend to ring your friends. Switch off the ring tone, so it doesn't do so in the middle of your pretended conversation (yes, remember this rather important one!!!!)
Text your friends. Who?
Previous date you were here with, he would understand. Maybe.
So I did in my usual exaggerated style.
"Now this is fun! Gone 2 singles nite on VD & only 1 there! Ppl strt 2 arrive in grps jst as u r about 2 drink all 5 beers u ordered - so staff wudn't think u r a lonely saddo... Pls tell m it gets bttr or shall I hang mself now? x "
And then things got really weird.
The four people sitting together next to me; 2 women, 2 blokes, started to introduce themselves to each other. But ... they came in together and sat there chatting for 15 minutes already?!?
Duo's of really out of place men were standing around looking shifty,.. What was going on here? Speed dating group on the loose in the real world?
I had to get out of there.
So I grabbed my stuff and made a dash for the exit. I walked home slowly, to kill time. And because of the shoes of course. By 11pm I very quietly sneaked in, ExBoy never heared me as he had gone to his bed in the spare bedroom and that was that.

I did get a text message back from the lovely N. informing me he was in Barcelona (the swine) and advising me to drink all the beer at once and misbehave promptly. By then I was nicely tucked up in bed.

Right, that's it then.
No more going out to save myself from excruciating situations like this.
It'll be shouting at the tv next!