How it started

Three years ago I was dying, literally.
I developed a rare lung condition after my own emotional Hiroshima. My body was shutting up shop, slowly but surely.

Three months I went fetal in solitude and cried my guts out on the floor of what was once known as home. Sleeping stopped. Eating stopped. En publique I learned to function on automatic. Only a handful of people knew what happened as I had to explain my zombielike behaviour.
I wished in the morning that it was evening already and vice versa. The emptiness was soul destroying.
I tried to make sense of it; it didn't.
I tried to make it right again; I failed.

This is not an account of a love gone wrong. That's the tedious, boring cliché. This is an account of what happened after, when I had to reconnect with the world.


Dying would have been the easy option.



(The following blog posts appeared in sequence on MySpace from December 2006 on)