Bank holidays

Saturday, August 25, 2007
Current mood: cheerful

Bongiorno amici,

All is set for a glorious August bank holiday weekend.
I woke up this morning in Duck Towers, back on my own after ExMum InLaw (OutLaw actually, come to think of it ... which is the whole problem, no?) has returned to blistering Spain. I can return to my routine of skillfully avoiding the Lord of the Flat, aka ExBoy, when he comes around to pick up his mail, faf around on his computer, or whatever he does when he's here. Normally he's gone by the time I get back, out of fear of leaving the Slapper on her own too long (She does deserve her little nickname, you know... but that's another story...)

So, yes, home alone again and it's bliss! Especially now the sun has decided to make an appearance and might be hanging around for the weekend. And... GalleryBoss decided executively that, as the weather is very good and nobody will be out buying art, doors will be closed on Saturday. This means I have an unexpected whole weekend off! !!!!! I was a bit miffed as I could have done something more exciting like, like, like (thinking hard)... go up North, visit some friends, visit Cornwall, or go to Welshy Wales... Now there is a thought... bear with me on that one!
So yesterday I locked up and cycled to the Waterfront after quickly nipping into Waterstones to buy a book (Sleeping Around - C. Townsend, appropriate reading for the single girl around town). Oh, on my part, there's lots of feverish wishful thinking and not a lot of action... but there you go. Maybe I pick up some tips along the read. A good spot to go and get the last sun is at the quayside of the Arnolfini. So, me dashes in for a beer - extortiate prices, flipping heck - to then find a spot amongst the little cliques of friends or canoodling couples. This normally depresses me, with being the loner and that, but this time I couldn't care less. I felt well jolly, and jolie since you ask, wearing my skinny hipster jeans with sparkly espadrille wedges, little white T and black and white polka dot hair band; reading a naughty paperback. Let's face it, last bank holiday I found myself on this quay (Easter Saturday eve) I got lucky, very handsomely so... (Grinning widely). Short but sweet and I don't refer to measurements in this case, dahlings!
A couple of things in the book made me laugh out loud as they were very recognizable (girl gets dumped by boyfriend, moans to girlfriend...). I sat there, quite happily for an hour or so before walking home (It's uphill, not enough gears on my pedal bike since I came off flying over the handlebars smashing the right gear lever with my coccyx - ouch for weeks!). I was even contemplating going out, on my own, dressing up and all that. Of course I got completely sidetracked by this booklet... which is not exactly a literature masterwork but here and there touches a girlie nerve. Like where she makes a statement about "drama-queen men" (men that express verbally their will to commit to you after a very short time)"Chances are that the guy who talk spontaneously in the future tense (...) on the second date will probably never show up for the third." Well, that surely rang a bell! Which brings me in a round about way to the aforementioned Wales.

You remember some months back? I met someone through the Guardian Soulmates (I know, I know... don't you start! Try my place! 44 year olds are not really top of the wanted list, sweeties, unless for 60+) After mailing and chatting a real life meet was set up. And guess what? We hit it off instantly... My situation as it is leaves little space to meet at mine so I coached over to M. (where CZJ has a little seaside abode) a couple of times. I fell, like a brick... stupidly so, with hindsight. I should have known better. In fact I DID, as I expressed my doubts in a blog posting. He seemed the sort of trophy wife type (nippy sports car, flash watch, ...) and I've never considered myself to be one of those, however well I scrub up on occasion. But he convinced me completely and I liked being paraded a bit. Did the world for my self esteem, I kid you not.
But then, bang! Last visit was cut short for one or other half baked reason from his side. I had a gut wrenching journey back, picking up on a bad vibe, not knowing what was going on. And that was it... He's been blanking me ever since. Only short polite answers to my messages. Doesn't pick up the phone (number recognition... fabulous!). I tried to have a talk when I did get through, giving him all the easy options ( "just tell me like it is", "we didn't make any promises", "I understand...", blahdiblahdiblah) Trying to work out a reason to make me able to accept the complete turnaround in him. Maybe his ex wanted reconciliation? Whatever... anything is better than nothing.
.But nothing is what I got "Things are a bit difficult with the business..." WTF????? This is the guy that started texting me 8 am, continuously during the day, until going to bed - I still keep some, just to remind me of how big his seismic shift was. This was, unfortunately pour moi, the first guy I opened up to since ExBoy. Dangerous and silly; well, I feel right silly now! Thank you, Mr. F.! Not so good for the self esteem. But then I should know better than to get that from a guy, I'm old enough! So there you go, unfinished business! Part of me wants to zip over and face him - not making a scene, just politely ask why, face to face. But it's better to let go, me thinks, as he probably will come up with other classics like "it's not you, it's me"... I can do without that sort of cowardly claptrap.
In the meantime I am brooding over a last gesture, I do like to have the last word in matters where I feel I've been cut out for no reason; I will keep you posted.

Time for a cup of industrial strength, me thinks and ponder about what to do with my unexpected day off... get my leathers out... go for spin...Pose, Biker Girl, pose!!!

Arrivederci, amores. xxx

PS I have booked myself a flight to Florence early October. I will pack nice dresses, high heels, jewellery and go on a sophisticated adventure. Who knows what the gods throw in my way? Just have to be careful not to trip over it then...

Currently listening: Two Wheels Good by Prefab Sprout